Kati Patang

I was so excited. Hrithik back on the big screen after two solid years, a very hyped movie, big budget, huge canvas. He was suave in Dhoom 2, composed and regal in Jodhaa Akbar and the guest appearance in Luck by chance left me asking for more. So my expectations from Kites that featured my favoritest actor were very high. The tickets were booked yesterday and i was going with my team in the office hours. On the first day of the release itself! I could not have been any more excited! Though there is a trip this weekend, i thought the movie would be the highlight of the week for me!
First bomb- yesterday night on TV9- that the movie will not be screened on friday due to violation of KFCC norms. It would be melodramatic to say i was shattered, but i was really sad. Today morning was spent trying to contact Fame and finding out if the movie would run. It did run and i heaved a sigh of relief. It would not last long because i then saw the review. Two and half stars. One consolation was that it was from the reviewer who gave Blue 4 stars. Pacified myself that the person is not a good critic.



If you are wondering whether all this build up is needed to give the review of the movie, err, YES, because Second bomb- there is no story to review. I could finish the entire review in one sentence that would make the movie sound bad.
Anyway, let me still do a comprehensive review without going into too much details about the story. The entire story is shown in patches of flashback. Present day Hrithik is the shabby looking guy with the stubble and limp.
First flashback in Vegas. Jai or J as he is called is a money minded guy who marries women to get them green card in return for money. This bit was already out on the net, so i did not leak any story. Since he is the gorgeous dance teacher, there is the foot tapping "Fire" dance number in this part which is the only saving grace. Kangana plays his student who is crazily in love with him. She has a fake accent, isn't too much of a dancer and doesnt get to exhibit her histrionics in a guest appearance.
He decides to pursue her for her money and falls for her would be sis-in-law Barbara Mori, who also, in turn is there for the brother's money. I could not make the hell out of how the two fell in love. A few stolen glances, a back story of how they had met previously and communication without knowing each others language! If only falling in love was so easy!! Anyway, as usual,circumstances force them to elope. The baddies- brother and daddy decide to track them down.
From here start the chase sequences. The duo get lucky all the time, all the police cars heap up one on top of another without so much as a scratch on either of them. There are bullets flying everywhere and these two never get hurt, except for one instance. At every chase, he keeps asking her to jump- into the hot air balloon, the water, another trailer and so on. Jumping is an integral part of the movie!! The chase sequences are repetitive showing the lack of imagination on the part of the scriptwriters. I am actually wondering if there was one. Anybody could have written this story.
And if you want sentiment, you have Hrithik mouthing corny dialogues like "the two of us together, with our love, we can realize our dream. I have magic in my hands, we can work, become rich and live a good life. " Who talks like this in the movies these days?!
So after so much chase and struggle and all, they come close to a happy ending. But again, fate has other things planned for this ill-destined couple.
You come back to the present from here where J seeks revenge and also looks for his lost love. At his point, whatever little inspiration the scriptwriters had is gone and they seemed to be out of options to finish off the bad guys. You begin to wonder if all of this effort and journey across borders was necessary for this kind of agony and pain.
Cut to the ending, ( cause i have nothing else to say about the movie) that was the best part of the movie to me. I did a laughing out loud when the credits started appearing. It was so bad that it seemed funny. I wont spoil it for any of you who wanna go and watch it.
What worked for me:

• Hrithik- great looks, amazing dance.
• Barbara Mori- Her childlike bubbling enthusiasm is visible in many scenes. Go watch her for that.
• Ending- It is, like we say, Superr!! But on a serious note, it is a lame ending. Very dated in approach.
  

What did not:

• How the two fell in love. Even if it was love at first sight, how was it so strong that they took on the supposedly most powerful family in Vegas?
• The editors have gone snip snip on many of the vital scenes. ;) Also, the bad patchwork of scenes is only too visible.
• Hrithik's accent is very put on.
• There are no high points or whistle worthy scenes in the movie. Nothing that I'd look at my neighbor for and share a laugh (Of course, its another thing that my manager had occupied my neighboring seat! )
• Hrithik's talent has been wasted. He has a fixed number of expressions that he gives over and over again.
• Am taking back nothing from the theater- no memorable scene, no great song. There were no thrills and their chemistry was thanda. Even the high on adrenalin running away scenes were predictable. No gripping, taking you-to-edge-of-seat material.
  
• Where are the kites in the movie? There are hot air balloons only. And even if you say that kites is a metaphor for the leads who keep getting separated and meet again, its still doesn't justify naming the movie as Kites!
• Lastly, why so much hype? The next biggest grosser after 3 idiots? Sorry, NO. This Kite doesn't fly very high.