August 6, 2009

New beginnings

I have known this was coming, all along. For i spent the whole of the last month preparing for this day- buying stuff, getting documents ready, packing, you get the drill. The packing happened with a great deal of excitement, so much that mother dearest was under the impression that i could not wait to leave home. Somehow, i did not even feel a twinge of sadness when i went for one last time to the college to collect some certificates.
But today, as i put the last of my things into the suitcase, there is this queasy feeling in my stomach. I have never been away from home for long. This morning, i got up knowing that i won't be sleeping in that bed for hours together anymore! Seemed like the whole house was spinning around me! (Perhaps it was nausea but i am not exaggerating! ) To clear my head, i went for one last ride on the empty streets of Mysore and cried my way back home. Maybe i will get busy with my life in Bangalore to mull over this, maybe not. But today morning, i am not exactly a happy girl. I don't want to leave home! Only consolation is that i have the task of setting up a new home with friends and new experiences to look forward to. There are hopes and aspirations that life at the workplace will be challenging and fun. In the past, i have spoken at school and college about farewells being a mixture of happiness and sadness, but today i felt the full force of the feeling for the very first time! Saying goodbye is really hard. This is how i am possibly meant to feel. And the feeling might just fade away as time progresses. So bring on the wings, i am probably ready to fly!