June 1, 2009

Did you understood this?

I was in the college, to submit my project report and i stumbled upon the answers to the 4th cryptography internals on the notice board.Yes! The lecturer put the answers up! Whoever asked for them?! Thankfully, i did not have to take that test. And i pity all those who were forced to take it. Why?! Take a look:

Well, let me spell out a few questions for your benefit, in case you are having trouble reading it:
*What is the draw back of "mano"-alphabetic cipher? how can it be "overcomed"??
*List the characteristic Ceaser Cipher substitution which "enforces" to use brute force cryptanalysis. ( i guess it should be characteristics of..)
*What are the two unique and not necessarily compatible requirements for a sequence of random numbers? Lo and behold! The answer is a) Randomness and b) Unpredictability!!!

It is difficult to ascertain what language the man is communicating in!! That's not all, he spewed wonderful pearls in the class all the time, that i kept awake to listen to them, interpret them and have a good laugh! :) Here are a few:
*Did you understood this? ( Repeats it after explaining each topic!)
*The typewriter is going to be elapsed soon!
*Practical means, not impractical.
*When we product two numbers, the result becomes very large! ( by now you know, he meant multiply two numbers :) )
*We cannot larger the key size in any way!
*If the buffer is fulled, the connection cannot be formed easily!
*In conventional systems, there is a possibility of stoling the key!
And saving the best for the end, he pronounces eavesdropping as "evaas-dropping". I close my mouth, duck under the desk and laugh my heart out each time he says that in class!! There are many more such gems. He says them with such a straight face that you are sure that the man does not know how funny his nonchalant statements turn out to be! He even asked us to draw a round square while he was teaching us Logic Design long back! God help the juniors! I wish them luck in decrypting his statements!! :D


  1. what would college be without such great legends! I cannot stop laughing reading this post! something to pep me up before I get back to studying now! :)

    *Practical means, not impractical - hahah!

  2. Round square??? How did you draw it?

  3. Hari Sadu took cryptography for us, he is no less than amc! One day he asked everyone in class "What is supervised?". He repeated his question atleast 3 times and then he only answered! "Having a priori knowledge of"! Still trying to decrypt this, but no clue!

  4. @perplexed
    I too had a good laugh recollecting all that he said in class! At least the quotes helped in some way ;)

    I don't know how to draw it! Have to ask AMC only! And i am laughing out loud at what Hari Sadu said! Was he trying to ask you what the meaning of supervise is? Is that what he meant?!

  5. Probably yes! Ask him when you see him in college next time ;-)

  6. GAAAWAADD...Awwwesome post Aparna!!

    Its truly hilarious.The AMC's "gems" are always Worth remembering.

    Also apparently after the internals,this Socrates asked all his wards(us) to fill answer papers in proper "ENGLISH" without "grammatical errors".Look who is saying.Ironically funny...God Save JC from such "INGLORIOUS BAST#@d$".

  7. Ha ha!! Proper English?! Something unheard of, in his class!
    And yes, i guess all the humor apart, i should have mentioned what a beast he is for all the brutal treatment he has meted out! That should justify your swearing, Bharat ;)!

  8. Good work :) even i've a list of AMC materials. I thought of posting it.But you did it earlier!Anyways I'll put it here only.All GRE aspirants should see this;)Great quotes and golden words by Great AMC!!

    sHessHion key!
    It cames to know!
    woked up!! :D
    Actually there's a word called "authentication"!!
    slowyar, accuss, strunth, lungth, caantact,expuct
    pravate key
    assh puncsans
    see the words[most frequent statement!]

  9. Oh my god!! This is funnier still!! Such lecturers are truly one in a million!! :D I like interventing and woked up best!

  10. Lol.. this post reminds of my chemistry lecturer during my Btech...
    he sometimes says
    "YOU MONKEY" ,
    you no man, you monkey...
    go forest and take rest...
    you in stone age..
    you no coming to college...

    :) ..lots like this ...


  11. I think Bhajantri sir was much more unbearable than AMC ... U cannot understand what he says !!!

    we (specially me) used to fear AMC a lot.. he was famous for failing in internals ....

  12. @ Suree
    Seems like there are such pieces in all colleges!!

    AMC still fails people. And yes, Bhajantri can neither talk Kannada nor English properly!!

  13. I still remember one thing during my first year, which beats all the above , well almost:

    "Draw an angle of 120 degree celsius"

    I think you guys can guess in which class this would have happened, since the first year classes were common to all...:-D